A child’s mind is a wide fertile land waiting for seeds to be planted on it. As parents, we should be cautious of the things we say to our children so we don’t plant bad seeds that will produce bad fruits. Check out these five things you should try to avoid saying to your child(ren).
1. “I’m disappointed in you.”
This doesn’t even go down well with an adult mind. It hits hard and makes you feel like the worst person ever. There’s no need to pick on a wound that’s already there from your child realising he had done wrong. Instead of saying hurtful words or shaming him, try to understand why he did wrong and let him know that it shouldn’t happen again. Don’t make him feel like he’ll never do right in your eyes ever again.
2. “You’re too young to say this or think that.”
Everyone has a right to say or think whatever they feel and your child is not an exception. If you feel she is thinking or saying the wrong things, explain in details why she cannot say or think such things. Remember, if your child asks you something and you blatantly refuse to answer, she’ll ask someone else.
3. “Why aren’t you more like…”
Nobody likes to be compared with other people whether family or friends. Don’t make your child feel inferior by making comparisons. This can make him feel some sort of hate or resentment towards the other child you compared him with. Don’t turn children against each other because you’re trying to achieve something. There are better ways to motivate your child.
4. “I’m ashamed of you.”
In my opinion, using this phrase is cruel. Regardless of what your child has done, he should be able to look up to you. When you express how ashamed you are of him because he messed up and acted out really bad, you leave him with nobody to run to. Say things like “I never expected this to happen,” and try fix the mess for you and your child.
5. “That’s a stupid thing to do.”
Your child probably felt he was doing the right thing at the time but it turned out bad. Knowing that he made the wrong choice and got negative results is bad enough for him, there’s no need to rub it in by giving out negative adjectives that bring bile to the throat.
Every parent has the right to say whatever they like to their children. But then there are children out there who are going through some kind of trauma because of some bad utterances their parents made. Have you ever found yourself saying any of these to your child? Tell us in the comment box.
I have learnt. Thanks
Using those words on a child can alot of harm…believe me that child ll grow up with a low self esteem,lack of confidence,insecurity because they ve grown up to understand that they are never appreciated,always byn compared to others and never do the right tym..
So u see them in their shells and never wanna speak up in d presence of their peers for fear of byn mocked.
To be frank I use those words a lot. But each time any of these words do, I usually feel bad afterwards. I tries as much as I can to stop using negTive words on my son. That you very much for this insight
Thank you! I will never use this to my children.