Too many moms are super tough on themselves when it comes to parenting, no matter if they’ve got little ones, teens, or grown-up kids. They beat themselves up for not doing more, forget to take care of themselves, or feel like they’re carrying the weight of the world on their shoulders for their kids’ happiness and success. It’s very common to hear moms say how they feel like their messing everything up and judging their parenting by how happy their children are.
This whole “mom guilt” thing can come from little slip-ups here and there or just feeling like you’re never quite hitting the mark. It’s like this constant worry about messing up your kids’ lives. But here’s the deal: kids do best when they’re loved, supported, and given room to grow by parents who also take care of themselves. Being a good parent isn’t about being perfect; it’s about trying your best, learning from your mistakes, and cutting yourself some slack along the way. Ready to overcome mom guilt? Here are some steps to help you:
1. Ask Yourself Why You Feel Guilty.
Lots of moms carry this weight of trying to live up to this perfect mom image for their kids, which actually comes from stuff deep down from their own upbringing. Take a second to really think about why you feel like you have to be perfect and where that guilt is coming from. Doing this not only helps you shake off that guilt, making you happier, but also makes you a more understanding parent. The whole guilt trip thing can be tied to a bunch of things like:
– Being scared you’ll end up parenting like your own parents did.
– Always comparing yourself to what society and social media say a mom should be.
– Feeling like you have to be this flawless stay-at-home mom who knows everything, stays cool all the time, and never focuses on herself.
– Trying to make up for whatever role you’re playing, whether it’s working, divorced, or staying at home.
– Not really having your own thing going on outside of your kid.
– Your happiness depending only on how your kid’s doing.
– Dealing with your own mental health issues from past traumas.
Whatever your reason is, it’s time to start being intentional about letting go of the guilt.
2. Let go of the ‘Perfect Mom’ image.
Feeling guilty as a mom often happens when we try too hard to be flawless, thinking our value depends on positive results and pleasing our children and others. To tackle mom guilt, you have to tackle this idea of being perfectionism. Sure, being flawless and getting it right all the time sounds great, but let’s be real, it’s impossible.
Living a good life means learning from your missteps, and growing through it all. Remember this: as your child grows, you grow too, gaining wisdom and experience, even when you make mistakes.
3. Focus on being a ‘good enough’ parent.
Hey, it’s okay not to be perfect. And seriously, finally accepting this fact will take a huge weight off your shoulders. Trying to be the perfect mom all the time is just simply setting yourself up for failure.
Good enough parenting is all about meeting your kids’ needs while giving them room to learn from their own mistakes. Because let’s face it, nobody is perfect, and that’s okay. And get this: if we’re always swooping in to fix everything for our children, we’re actually doing them a disservice. They need to face challenges head-on to become strong, resilient adults.
4. Take a breather and let your kids find their own way.
Picture a momma who is totally frazzled about her son or daughter in college. So much so that she forgets to take care of herself, and ends up in a downward spiral. That’s a perfect recipe to remain a miserable mom for life. Because college is just the beginning.
But once that mom embraces the fact that her child is find their own path, she’ll start to focus on loving herself and finding her own joy.
As parents, we’re here to guide our kids and help them become awesome humans. But at the end of the day, they’re the captains of their own ships.
5. What is your truth? Own it.
It’s time to do some soul-searching and look back on your own upbringing. It’s time to get real about what matters to you as a mom. Maybe you’re big on teaching your kids to be grateful and kind, or maybe you’re all about trust and smoothing out those relationship bumps. And if you’re into digital detoxing, boredom, getting creative, jamming out to tunes, or soaking up nature, that’s cool too.
Some moms are all about the spiritual stuff and teaching their kids not to judge others. And you know what? It’s totally okay to do things your way, even if it goes against the crowd. Your truth as a mom is whatever feels right to you. Write down what lights you up and stick to it. It’s your compass in a sea of doubts and guilt.
0ur lives are all about growing and learning, and the people we meet along the way help us become better versions of ourselves (and we do the same for them). It’s easy to get wrapped up in making sure our children are happy and growing, but we forget to take care of ourselves too. If you ever feel like you’re putting all your energy into their happiness, take a moment to think about what makes you happy and how you can grow too. You’re important too,and you deserve to thrive alongside your children.
