SINGLE AND SEARCHING

by Krystal Ross

Have you ever heard the saying “When the Queen is ready her King will arrive”?

Single and searching? Growing up in a Caribbean house, I never felt pressured to get married, my mom simply said, “when you find the right one you’ll know”, and that was it! But she did however emphasize on the importance of enjoying my “single phase” and working on me, for me, maturing spiritually, being stable mentally and being confident in what I look like physically. She also emphasized on fulfilling my purpose and being the best version of myself that I can possibly  be. Even though she never said it, I believe that it is every parent’s dream to see their child (ren) happily married and living their own unique life and not to forget, they always want grandkids! I’m not a relationship expert, I don’t have it all together and I’m not here to write about a perfect life. I’m starting with the woman in the mirror and here are 4 things I will be doing while I wait for my king to arrive.

DATE YOURSELF

When you start dating yourself, your mindset shifts, rather than defining your own self-worth based on whether someone “likes your Photos on social media or asks you out on a date”, you should define your own self-worth based on how you’re spending your time. You can commit to personal projects, set aside time for self-reflection and self-care and discover new aspirations. Instead of simply going through the motions, you’re in the driver’s seat of your own life.

TREAT YOURSELF

Take yourself out on the perfect date. Go out to your favorite restaurant, order exactly what you want to eat and have yourself a glass of wine or juice. Buy yourself something nice, go to the bookstore and buy that book you’re dying to read. Go and see that movie everyone’s talking about. Go on your own adventure. Go on a girl’s trip and create memories. You’re worth it!

TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF

Go for a run, a walk, spend an hour at the gym, go for a treat at the spa. Meditate, cook your favorite meal or order in and eat in bed. Go to the salon, get your hair and nails done. Do what you want to do. Stay beautiful. Being single is not a sickness. It’s your preparation time!

CREATE YOURSELF

Write in your journal, write a blog post, write a story, paint a picture, take a short course, go back to school, learn a new language, come up with a business idea.

Volunteer in your community, push yourself outside your comfort zone, start a group on African Mommy forum.

Being single is not permanent. As my mom said, “When the Queen is ready, her King will arrive” I strongly believe that dating yourself for a while helps you discover who you are and what you want. No one is attracted to someone who is clearly looking for anyone. The bottom line is this: you can’t live your life waiting for a man to MAKE your life. You attract the energy that you give out …you want to be loved and celebrated, LOVE AND CELEBRATE YOURSELF FIRST!