Weight loss is a deeply personal journey, shaped not just by diet and exercise, but by a complex web of culture, relationships, and personal struggles. For some, it’s about reclaiming confidence; for others, it’s a battle against emotional eating, body image issues, or years of unhealthy habits. Cultural expectations can influence how we view our bodies, while the support—or pressure—of relationships can either empower or derail our efforts. At its core, weight loss often goes beyond the physical, touching on identity, self-worth, and the desire for change that feels authentic and sustainable.
Yesterday, we spoke with five women about why they’ve struggled to lose weight, even though they genuinely want to. Their answers were raw and honest, shedding light on the challenges many women can relate to. But alongside their struggles, we share hope—and actionable steps you can take to overcome these hurdles.
Ama, 34, Ghanaian
“To be honest, I eat a lot of starchy foods like banku, fufu, and lots of white rice. But I know it’s not really the food that’s the problem; it’s how much of it I eat. But these are the meals I cook everyday for my family of 8. It’s hard to cook all that food and still have time to prepare something specially for myself. Plus I really love my starchy foods, so the idea of giving them up, like some fitness people ask us to, feels like cutting off a part of my culture. I’ve tried to reduce my portions like a weight loss coach asked me to, but then someone at home will say, ‘Ah, you’re not eating? Are you sick?’ It’s hard to say no, and even harder to watch everyone around you eating while you try to hold your appetite back. I really want to lose weight but I know it’s my eating habits that are holding me back. I’ll keep trying.”
How you can overcome this struggle:
You don’t have to give up your cultural foods or eat seperate meals from your family. Try to focus on portion control and balance. For example, pair smaller portions of banku or fufu with more vegetables and lean protein. When family members comment, let them know you’re working on your health so you can be around longer to enjoy those meals with them. Over time, they’ll respect your commitment.
Layla, 31, Moroccan
“Junk food is very comforting for me. It’s so hard to eat healthy or even semi healthy. I start, I stop, and then I start again. I try to cut out sugar and stuff, but then a stressful day comes, and I’m right back to stuffing pastries and bread into my face. My workplace struggles are not make it any easier for me. I got demoted at work 2 years ago and since then, I haven’t recovered. Everything just leaves me constantly stressed and turning to food to feel calm. I know I need to find a better way, but right now, junk food is the only thing that does it for me and I know I’ll never stop being overweight if I keep eating like this.”
How you can overcome this struggle:
Stress eating can be a challenge, especially when life keeps throwing fireballs at us. But mindfulness can help. Instead of completely cutting out your favorite foods, enjoy them in moderation and practice mindful eating—savour each bite and stop when you’re satisfied. Find alternative ways to manage stress, like journaling, walking, or even a few minutes of deep breathing.
Small tweaks when eating junk food can help reduce the damage while still allowing you to enjoy your favorites. For instance, opting for baked instead of fried, choosing smaller portions, or pairing indulgent snacks with fiber-rich veggies or protein can slow down blood sugar spikes. Drinking water before and after, eating mindfully, or even waiting 15 minutes before reaching for more can make a big difference. It’s not always about elimination—sometimes, it’s about being strategic and intentional with your choices, especially on a weight loss journey.
Chioma, 26, Nigerian
“My husband loves me like this. He always tells me I’m more beautiful when I’m chubbier and that he doesn’t want me looking too thin like he’s not taking good care of me. I appreciate his love and care, but sometimes, I wish he’d understand how I feel. I want to feel lighter, healthier, sexier and more comfortable in my own skin. But every time I mention dieting or exercising, he says no need. And that’s when he gets extra with taking me out to eat. It’s hard to push the idea of weight loss on him. It’s caused a fight twice now and I don’t like that, so I’ve stopped trying for now. I’ll bring it up again soon because this 2025 is the year I get the body I want.”
How you can overcome this struggle:
It’s important to communicate your feelings to your partner. Let him know that your desire to lose weight isn’t about being “perfect” but about feeling healthier and more confident. Invite him to join you in healthy activities, like going for walks or trying new meals together. Remind him that your happiness is also a priority, and when you feel your best, your relationship will benefit too.
Tania, 25, South African
“For me, it’s about my body shape. I’m scared that if I lose too much weight, I’ll lose the things that make me feel feminine, especially my full hips. Those features are celebrated where I’m from and I don’t want to lose that. I want to feel confident and healthy, but I also want to feel desirable and sexy. I don’t know if there’s a middle ground. Can I slim down and still keep my curves? I’m afraid to find out.”
How you can overcome this struggle:
Yes, you can lose weight and still maintain your curves! Focus on strength training exercises that tone your body while preserving muscle mass. Eating a balanced diet with plenty of protein will also help. Remember, the most important thing is how you feel in your body—not society’s expectations. You can define beauty and confidence on your own terms.
Naledi, 38, South Africa
“I’ve always believed that I can’t have the kind of fit gym bodies I see on social media. I’ve always been fat all over without curves. Even when I try to eat better or exercise, I don’t see the drastic changes I want. It’s discouraging, and it makes me think, ‘What’s the point?’ I want to believe I can be healthier, but sometimes it feels like my genes and my reality are working against me. And that makes it so hard to even try.”
How you can overcome this struggle:
Focus on health, not perfection. Celebrate the small wins—better energy, improved mood, or being able to climb stairs without getting winded. Set realistic goals for your body type and remember that fitness looks different for everyone. You’re not trying to look like someone else; you’re striving to be the healthiest version of yourself.
If you relate to any of these stories, know that you’re not alone. Weight loss isn’t just about discipline—it’s about understanding your unique challenges and finding solutions that work for you. Be patient with yourself and celebrate progress, no matter how small.
Start here:
Set realistic goals: Focus on health and feeling good in your body, rather than chasing an ideal.
Start small: Incorporate one healthy habit at a time, like drinking more water or walking daily.
Build support: Share your goals with loved ones who can encourage you or join a community with similar goals.
Be kind to yourself: Progress isn’t linear. Forgive setbacks and keep moving forward.
Your journey is yours, and every step forward is worth celebrating. With determination and self-compassion, you can overcome any obstacle.
Want to share your story with us? Send us a message at info.africanmommy@gmail.com
